Kalki Koechlin on turning author with The Elephant in the Womb: 'Motherhood never ends, there's always more to write'

Kalki Koechlin’s The Elephant in the Womb is unlike any other book written on pregnancy and childbirth. It is so reflective, political, poetic, and witty, it feels like a rarity.

Part journal, part essays written in real time, part poems, and part illustrations, the graphic memoir details the actor’s travails with pregnancy, and her experience of giving birth to her daughter Sappho.

 In an exclusive interview, Koechlin talks about turning author with The Elephant in the Womb, why she opted for a water birth, the importance of postpartum care, and more. Edited excerpts below:

What was the most difficult part about writing this book?

I think just knowing that there will be always more to write, that this journey of motherhood never ends, bringing myself to just stop adding bits was the hardest.

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 The illustrations add so much to the narrative. You and illustrator Valeria Polyanychko must have worked as one to bring out such homogeneity of thoughts. Do you guys share a deep friendship?

Yes, we have known each other for many years, and I trust her completely.

How was the experience of working with her?

She was the perfect person for this. Really so invested and creative. She is so talented, and has the right mix of sensitivity and humour for what I needed to convey.

How did the title of the book come about?

We really went through a lot of titles that friends, family, and my editors offered… Mum’s the Word, What We Carry, Excess Luggage, Oops It’s A Baby …the list goes on. But somehow, they were already used or were just not fitting. I came up with this one at the last minute, and it feels like the right one.

What made you opt for water birth?

I had spoken to a few friends who had water births, and (they) said it was amazing. I did my research. It seemed like a lot of natural birth and home births benefited from water. It alleviates your weight in those exhausting hours of contractions, it helps dilation, and it’s less of a shocking transition for the baby since the baby has been in fluid for nine months.

Not a lot is known about water birth. For the uninitiated, could you recommend some credible resources they could start with?

I would recommend Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth.

What is the one thing you wish someone had told you about having a baby?

That it’s a raw deal. That the first few months of post-partum take everything out of you, and although it’s worth it eventually, get all the help you can initially.

Not a lot of expectant mothers are aware of the spectrum of choices they can make to ease the process of birth. What are the three things you would recommend that you think can help?

Make a birth plan, and come to an agreement with your doctor or midwife about it. No detail is too trivial. If you want Michael Jackson playing on speakers when you give birth, ask for it.

 Get a doula, and classes for both you and your partner to prepare so you have someone with experience in the birth room and post.

Have a diet plan for postpartum. I don’t mean for losing weight, but for rebalancing hormones and loss of nutrition, especially if you are breastfeeding. I recommend the cookbook The First 40 Days.

Though the book is about your experience of having a baby, it is also deeply political…

Good.

All honest and personal struggle is what politics should be concerned with.

 Unwed pregnancies in India are still taboo, frowned upon, and thought of as “too unconventional.” There is hardly any discourse around it…

Let’s talk about it more then.

What’s the one thing you would like to say to the partners and the immediate families of an expectant or a new mother?

Ask her what she wants. Her body is going through the trauma, not yours. Listen to what she needs.

The Elephant in the Womb is published by Penguin Random House.

When not reading books or watching films, Sneha Bengani writes about them. She tweets at @benganiwrites.