Best Handsets for Different Personalities

It’s a given that any kind of person can find a handset that’s exactly what they’re looking for. Some might even say that in this day and age your mobile defines your personality. It’s the phone that makes the man. It won’t always fit your bank balance and maybe the bank manager would break out into hysterical laughter if he knew you wanted to drain your bank account for a phone, but that handset, that perfect mobile phone that culminates every aspect of every feature you’ve ever wanted does exist and why shouldn’t you have it? So irrespective of what you can afford, based on specific kinds of personalities, here’s a list of phones that would be exactly what you should have, if you don’t have them already.

It’s about Power, about being a Man- The Ultimate Man’s Phone
Vertu Ascent Ti Damascus Steel

When you’ve got power and want to make sure everyone know this, you’ve got to be packing some serious arsenal in your pocket. I’m talking about your phone you pervs. Although whatever your corrupted minds are thinking is true as well. Simply getting out of a Rolls Royce Maybach in an Armani suit and flashing a Bulgari watch isn’t enough. The addition of Vertu’s Ascent Ti Damascus Steel will however add just that little extra ‘ziiiing’ to complete the ensemble. This Vertu isn’t made; it’s forged, from Damascus Steel, which is the next best thing to titanium. The same material was used to make a warrior's sword from almost all eras of civilization. I don’t think it gets any manlier than that.

The Damascus Steel combines Vertu’s sexy, showy appeal with a hardcore casing that could withstand a bullet. It oozes power and the price tag pretty much declares it. Vertu users are also privy to the exclusive Concierge service available 24/7 that can get you almost anything you want at anytime. The price tag of this phone also includes access to Vertu Fortress which is a wireless synchronization service that backs up all of your important data in an extremely secure location. So owning this phone is right up there with grabbing your crotch in public or sleeping with your secretary while running a country.

Throw me in the woods and my Boy Scout training kicks in – The Outdoorsy
Sonim’s Land Rover S1

For the rugged outdoors type of individual, you need a phone that you can of course take with you wherever you may roam. In this case I’m recommending the Land Rover branded S1 from rugged phone maker Sonim. You can’t go wrong with a Land Rover if your whole idea is to traverse the great outdoors. This handset can stay underwater up to 1 meter for up to 30 minutes; works in extreme temperatures so if you’re dunning in the Rajasthan desert or skiing in the snow capped mountains of the Himalayas this baby isn’t going to quit on you. It even has GPS tracking for those of us guys who hate asking for directions. Sonim even offers a 3-Year unconditional guarantee.

Other features include a torch, an FM radio and even a 2MP camera and support for external memory. Bluetooth, EDGE and USB are the modes of connectivity. Short of a solar panel charger this handset has all else you need to survive in the wild and with an 1850mAH battery we’re talking a serious amount of talk time. Hell it even looks as rugged as the car. If there’s one thing I’d want to be stuck with in the wilderness, the S1 would be at the top of my list. Indiana Jones never did too well with a woman at his back, but you know this baby would have served him well.

I write a lot because I have an opinion about everything – The Blogger
Nokia N97 Mini
Well we all have a right to our opinion but some of us tend to make a business out of it. For those constantly talking about something or the other and posting it all over the net, a phone with all kinds of connectivity and a comfortable to use Keypad is just what the Blogger ordered. So for the frequent blogger/Social Networker Nokia’s N97 Mini is perfect. The slick keypad is very comfy to use for prolonged typing so you can tap tap tap away for hours sharing your wild ideas and thoughts with the rest of net-dom. From Wi-Fi to 3G, Bluetooth and of course USB, you’re well covered. Nokia’s browser is also well designed enough to make uploading your stories quite easy.

This S60 touchscreen edition OS comes with social networking apps and a built in GPS module. The 5MP camera supports geo-tagging so you can upload images and talk about places or things you‘ve seen as well. I know a picture is worth a thousand words but some times you just don’t get that. This handset is not for those with an unobtrusive opinion to share.
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I’m all about the business; no really that’s not an innuendo – The Workaholic
BlackBerry Bold 9700

The definitive mobile handset for those whose lives are their work are the BlackBerrys. The Definitive BlackBerry in my opinion is their very latest offering, the 9700 Bold. It’s faster than the others which means you’ll be able to get more work done. The handset is designed to look and feel professional. There’s no other handset that says Executive Class quite like the 9700 and the price tag pretty much guarantees that. It’s got every mode of connectivity you’d need to get your work done irrespective of where you are. The 9700 also allows for a bit of playtime with a video player that supports DivX and XviD codecs, a 3.2MP autofocus camera and a kick ass audio player.

RIM’s BlackBerrys have always had their focus on the business class users and the 9700 is the epitome of the range. So say good bye to vacation time, then again you wouldn’t have this phone if that was of any concern to you.

Bling is my thing and I don’t care who knows it – The Drag Queen
Micromax Bling Q55

There are also those mobile users who love to be... well I can’t think of a better word than ‘dazzling’. So with that in mind, for the guys who love to show off their feminine side for a night on the town with the ‘gals’ you can’t go wrong with Micromax’s Q55, better known as the Bling. Now there’s an appropriate name. The Q55 comes with actual Swarovski crystals embedded into the nav-pad. The entire design of the Bling is totally feminine, from the white decals to the crystals and the curved shape. It even has some sort of compact vanity mirror thingy so you can see if your mascara is running or your wig’s on straight before you hit the stage for your Barbara Streisand impersonation gig.

It’s ready with access to your favourite social networking site, Facebook, so you can update your status with things like what you’ve eaten today, or how there’s no cuter dog than yours, bitch about your boss and the large work load he just laid at your feet or just talk about what a fun day you had picking flowers from your garden.

It’s all about impressing the ladies – The Playboy
Karbonn K10

For the guys who’re all about the women and not interested in being one himself, you’ll need a phone that’s not anything like the Bling Q55. These are handsets for the guys who fall into the category of what I like to call ‘Flash and Dash’. You can take that in any way you want but what that translates to is to have a phone that looks good but one that isn’t necessarily as good as it looks. It needs to be good looking enough to impress the ladies but it could be as cheap as a carton of cigarettes as long as no one finds out. Hence - flash and dash. In this case I’m going with Karbonn Mobile’s K10. It looks like a BlackBerry smartphone and even has a UI that could pass of as legit, but in reality it’s not really as good as it looks.

This way you could look real business-like and important while not having spent more than Rs. 4000 on your phone. The K10 is nowhere close to being in the same league as RIM’s devices. However it’s well designed enough to bring out from time to time and pretend to take an important business call. Just don’t let your date have too close a look or the jig is up.

I have no friends so I play with myself – The Mobile Gamer
Apple iPhone

The last on my list is for the mobile gamer. The best handset for that is of course the one and only iPhone. When it comes to mobile gaming, the iPhone is by far at the very top of the list. For those who love ‘playing with themselves’ at odd times of the day (please control your urge to take this as a metaphoric innuendo) there’s nothing like the iPhone gaming experience that ‘hits the spot’ (this too). It has better graphics and a smoother accelerometer for motion sensitive gaming.

This way you can look as goofy as you want in a bus or train, twisting and sticking your tongue out the corner of your mouth trying to beat computer generated opponents in a crazy virtual cart race with a bunch of other animals.


Published Date: Mar 25, 2010 03:57 pm | Updated Date: Mar 25, 2010 03:57 pm