Sepp, the mad Blatter

“There is no racism in football and players should shake hands after the game and forget about it.” Yes, the exact lines of one of sport’s most powerful men, controlling over 150 member-nations across the world. If you think that is Sepp Blatter’s worst moment on record, then you are wrong. His years as chief of FIFA have been blighted with controversy, but the Swiss somehow manages to stay in power year after year after year. El Mafioso: Don Corleone wouldn’t go as far as to say, “Maybe gay fans should refrain from sexual activities during the World Cup in Qatar.” But Sepp seems to be in a different league, managing to get away with such comments and the crosshairs of a lot of people who he has offended. If what starts well ends well, then the opposite is surely possible. Blatter’s welcome to FIFA was greeted with as many smug faces as the number of happy faces when he will finally leave. But the man is a bit of a leech. What has been consistent on his CV apart from winning elections at FIFA is the number of corruption charges that he has been accused of. As soon as he was elected, the Vice President of the African Confederation came out in the British press, saying that he was offered $100,000 to vote for him. [caption id=“attachment_134522” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“One more term. Getty Images”]  [/caption] FIFA was immediately split into two groups with Blatter in power. His own assistant was fired unceremoniously after he published a 30-page dossier on financial mismanagement under his reign. Since then, few have ever gone head to head with him and managed to earn a living off FIFA. The Skipper: Most of us didn’t even notice the absence of the 75 year old when Italy won the World Cup in 2006 after a nerve wracking penalty shootout against France. What sort of President doesn’t turn up at the awarding ceremony of the greatest sporting spectacle in the world? Sepp does! He has also gone as far as to say that a referee who awarded 16 yellow cards and 4 red cards in a match should have shown himself one. Talk about the ‘Respect the Referee’ campaign. Tech-Savvy: In spite of being clamoured to do something about goal-line technology trials in tournaments with lesser importance than the World Cup, Blatter remained unconcerned. The stubborn chief wouldn’t budge from his position until someone really made an example of his folly. As much as you would have liked it to be someone else, it was England (the nation who regularly face the axe from Sepp in his speeches) who bore the brunt of his medieval thoughts. Lampard’s goal was surely in…no doubt and all England got was a formal apology and a ridiculously rubbish decision to not award them the 2018 World Cup. The world’s hottest man alive: Yes baby its Sepp! After all, we’re having a World Cup in Qatar! Air conditioned stadia, TV paneled exteriors and boats taking people from their hotel to the venue….all this worked out on an animation screen by the Qatar officials, terrorizing future generations with environment spiraling out of control in the desert country for a matter of 40 days of football extravaganza. I am not sure whether Qatar even have a league worthy of all those stadiums. And yes, talking about women’s football while he was really having a field day, he came out in the open and announced to the world, ““wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts… to create a more female aesthetic.” Sepp does it again! And he still won the 2011 election…unchallenged. Talk about being an undisputed champion. Maybe its time he came out in tighter shorts and a low cut shirt to face the media. That….will be aesthetic.