The unconscionable hotness of Niira Radia

Scandals are the stuff of Indian politics. Each day brings news of misdoings, great and small. And for the most part, they confirm what we already know: greed is king; and our leaders are the greediest of them all.  A Suresh Kalmadi, Karunanidhi, or Yeddyurappa are merely par for the course. What creates outrage is the perception of extreme incompetence matched only by extent of the rot. As ex-CII chief Tarun Das said of Kamal Nath, Mr. Fifteen Percent: “You can do national service and also make money… and do really something worthwhile here.” The kickbacks don’t bother us quite as much the inability, nay unwillingness to actually do the job. No wonder then that we can’t quite bring ourselves to be mad at Ms. Radia. When the tapes were leaked and published, many reader responses were admiring. “Man you got to agree that she has stuff!” wrote one. “I say Niira Radia for foreign minister,” rooted another. But this guy best mirrored the upbeat assessment: “What a cracker of a story and a cracker of a lady!” [caption id=“attachment_8643” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Reuters”]  [/caption] The rest of us may not like her quite as much, but we can’t quite summon up the required bile. Here’s a woman who gets the job done. To shake us out of our amoral stupor comes Close Encounters with Niira Radia penned by RK  Anand, a criminal lawyer with his own colourful history.  This expeditiously timed book’s message: behold the ruthless conniving siren who seduced hapless politicians and businessmen to line her foreign bank accounts. And yet for all the salacious details – close-dancing with BJP minister Ananth Kumar, ohmigod! – and overheated prose, there is little here to raise more than an amused titter. In the grand scheme of Indian politics, Radia crimes seem routine and unexceptional for a top-notch middleman — except for the unforgivable fact of her gender. And that surely is her biggest crime. To be fair, let’s first review  Anand’s compelling chargesheet: Charge number one: Niira is hot, hot, hot. And this very hotness is a damning sign of her venal nature. There’s her “large, smiling yet deep-set eyes, a full lip-glossed mouth, and frizzy hair that fell about her shoulders in a loose Joan Baez kind of free fall…” She is a “bewitching, handsome woman looking way younger than her early 40 years of age” – a consequence of a Dorian Gray-like pact with the devil, no doubt. More ominous is her “capacity to be at ease and relax every muscle in her face. No wonder she began getting her way.” And yet I do wonder. Is she woman or python? Charge number two: Powerful men found her hot, hot, hot!  Or as Anand puts it: “[W]ithin a span of seven years, politicians, government officials, the police, media stars, top businessmen were putty in her hands and her wealth grew by leaps and bounds.” These poor little innocents, mesmerized no doubt by her devil-like ability to speak in tongues – English, “girlie talk”, Punjabi! – fell victim to her predatory ways. For years she lurked in the non-existent bushes of Prithviraj Road, as she “increased her knowledge and observed, like a panther looming for prey from high ground, potential people to satiate her personal business appetite.” She is both cat and reptile. Both ichhadari saanp and billi….no wonder Bollywood is already working on a Radia flick. Hisss Two: Snakes in South Block. Charge number three: She’s had sex, with at least two men, perhaps with unnamed more. Shock and horror! Never mind that she is an adult single woman – while both men in question were married at the time of their respective dalliances.  And no matter that neither was quite heart-broken when she decided to move on (Dheeraj Pratap Singh merrily got remarried right after being dumped). Niira’s greater crime: sleeping with men who were good for her business. Who cares if both were equal partners in her various crimes – or that they too lined their deep pockets with ill-gotten wealth. She, dear citizens, is the true villain, using her bed-fellows to further her “personal business appetite.” Charge number four: She’s very smart. Damn her “technical proficiency,” excellent eye for talent, and “knowledge, poise and command of herself, her presentation skills” – talents that “would make any Indian Prime Minister sit up and listen to her and take her seriously.” And it is these dark talents –  usually admired as virtues in a man – that she turned to evil, feminine ends. Namely, seducing Ananth Kumar :

She knew more about the aviation industry than half of Ananth Kumar’s own top bureaucrats. Kumar, himself a neophyte, a rookie minister in the NDA government, found in Niira a good teacher about the intricacies, pitfalls and vicissitudes of the powerful aviation sector. Needless to say, he was also smitten by the femme fatale who was now so sure of her magic with men.

The poor man never stood a chance! So let’s review the evidence: she’s hot, had sex with powerful, unattractive men, got rich by breaking the rules. Her ‘victims’ were so not hot, had sex with sexy, sexy Niira, got rich breaking the rules. Surely it’s Niira who got the raw end of this deal.