Bigg Boss woos AAP's Kumar Vishwas: Here is why he'd be perfect

The times are changing, indeed. Arvind Kejriwal, once Delhi’s chief minister, office-goer’s headache, policeman’s nightmare and role model for bathroom singers aching to go public, is now reduced to praying for “good politics” at Rajghat.  But even as his party undergoes its Spiderman to Nirupa Roy transformation, one member seems to have other plans. And that is Kumar Vishwas. Now that might be a little shocking given that Kumar Vishwas was considered to be Dr Watson to Kejriwal’s Sherlock, Dhanno to the AAP chief’s Basanti, the ultimate bhaji to Kejriwal’s puri. After Kejriwal’s most recent trip to Tihar, Firstpost suggested that he should  contemplate a stint on Bigg Boss , but it is his acolyte who seems to have taken our suggestion. According to a report in The Economic Times, Vishwas is considering a Rs 5 crore offer from Endemol, the makers of Big Boss. Apart from confirming the news, Vishwas also told ET, ““Yes, I will be going to Stanford University to lecture on the topic ‘Changing mood of Asian political upbringings’ and to the Google headquarters to talk about leadership on July 29.” [caption id=“attachment_1629007” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Kumar Vishwas. Image courtesy: www.kumarvishwas.com[/caption] Considering that the current political prospects of AAP, it is no surprise that Kumar Vishwas has removed any reference to AAP from his twitter bio. So it should be no big shocker if we find him gracing the small screen during the next season of the country’s most infamous reality show. And why not? Kumar Vishwas has all the makings of the perfect Big Boss candidate, and here’s why: The quintessential second fiddle: Now Bigg Boss has always embraced the second fiddle with great love. The not-so-famous star sister, the famous producer’s never-heard-of son, the one-film wonder, the Twitter twit, the biceps which couldn’t break even in Bollywood. On Big Boss, the more irrelevant, the better. Kumar Vishwas perfectly matches the criterion. The most memorable picture of him was during Delhi polls as the guy next to Arvind Kejriwal, waving out of the window – even though he hadn’t contested a seat. Or the guy who appeared before the press to declare which seat has been won by the party. It was the kind of photo-bombing usually practiced by starlets’ mothers who insist on waving at imaginary fans and disinterested cameras. Vishwas, to his credit, acquired temporary stardom after he decided to contest from Amethi, declaring it was not much of a challenge for a man who can take on both Rahul Gandhi and Narendra Modi from the same constituency at the same time. Except this time he ended up as the ’third’ fiddle as  the spot of the better-know loser was clinched by Smriti Irani and Vishwas soon sank back to irrelevance – the kind best suited for Big Boss. The multi-talented nobody: Bigg Boss has always revealed the unexplored, unsung talent of various kinds of nobodies. Like who knew Tannisha Mukerji was a omelette-maker, man-beater, patient bulls*** listener before Bigg Boss? Who knew Dolly Bindra was a bad dresser, ace screamer and a competitive abuser all rolled into one TV actor? Who knew Rahul Roy was a bore, a bigger bore and a bigger bore with bad hair? Now with such astonishing flair for talent spotting, it is inevitable that Kumar Vishwas has caught the Bigg Boss’ eyes. Vishwas’ Twitter bio reads, “One and only official Twitter Account Of Dr Kumar Vishwas. Koi Deewana Kehta Hai, Koi Pagal Samajhta Hai, Magar Dharti ki bechaini ko bas badal samajhta hai.’ So, there - Deewana, Pagal, Doctor. If you don’t get what we mean, Vishwas simplifies it for you in his official website bio, “Dr Kumar Vishwas is an Indian Youth Icon, who carries several aspects in his personality.” Who knows, Bigg Boss might just unearth other hidden talents that we hope will be less annoying than his poetry. Poha making, perhaps? Sexist extraordinaire: Now nothing delights the producers at Bigg Boss more than a person who will crack a sad sexist joke. After all, it kept Arman Kohli alive, tolerated Dolly Bindra for a prolonged period and actually smirked as people literally survived more on insults than on juice in the House. Kumar Vishwas, giving Chetan Bhagat a run for his money, had said that Kerala nurses are called sisters for a reason. And the reason was because they were dark and no man wanted to have anything to do with them. Not only was Vishwas being deeply sexist, he was also displaying the kind of xenophobia that Indians often inflict on each other - he was basically being average, lousy Indian, mirroring everything that is wrong with many Indian men. You know the kind who call Punjabis ‘Santa Banta’ and every one who comes from south of the Vindhyas, ‘Madrasis’. That’s the kind of humour that makes Bigg Boss a very special delight. People have been called prostitutes, losers, goondas and what not in that House, a little dose of Vishwas-patented misogyny will be just what the deewana doctor ordered. Bollywood dreams ahoy! Now what is the one thing that  binds all the contestants of Bigg Boss together? No, it’s not a shared interest in squabbling inside kitchens and over tomatoes. It’s the deep desire to be in Bollywood. Bigg Boss is the refuge for all Bollywood have-nots. People who have been in Bollywood, people who claim to be in Bollywood, people who talk about Bollywood like its the next important thing after AIDS eradication and people who want to be in Bollywood. Yes, you might think Kumar Vishwas is Ram Gopal Verma’s dream protagonist, but the AAP worker is not going to wait till the latter comes to him with the role of a pyaasi atma in the Parliament. He is already busy scripting his own Bollywood career. According to the report on The Times of India, Vishwas is planning his Bollywood debut with a song he’s penned for a film called Bhairavi and the song has been sung by Asha Bhonsle. He tells TOI, “It was always my dream to hear Ashaji or Lataji lend their melodious voice to my lyrics. Finally, the dream has come true. Ashaji will be singing in a Bollywood movie after eight years and that too, my lyrics.” If he enters Bollywood, he would officially join the league of the Bigg Boss elite - i.e the people who have actually had something to do with Bollywood and not just talked about it on Twitter. He has for company the likes of Tanisha Mukerjee, Monica Bedi, Rahul Roy and Payal Rohatgi. Now, if that’s not a Bigg Boss-perfect CV, we don’t know what is.