How many feminists does it take to fix the attitude of rigid patriarchal minds? None. Because, no matter which century you enter, apparently that attitude never changes. Why, you ask? We found this interesting article on a matrimonial website — Chennai Sai Sankara Matrimonials — soaked in overwhelming wisdom on 'lessons we should learn from the tragic episode of Swathi'.
The writer, the founder of the website, has offered his condolences to the 24-year-old Chennai Infosys techie, S Swathi, who was hacked to death by a stalker in broad daylight at Nungambakkam station amid thousands of horrified onlookers. The premise of this article being Swathi was friends with her stalker (Ram Kumar) on Facebook.
The writer ponders why such things happen at all. Is it the changing culture, movies, negative impact of modern technology and social networking sites, the careless attitude of the youngsters due to too much freedom and faulty education system and upbringing and so on.
The concerns are legit. But then comes a bold statement, (literally too), that boys from other castes are keen to woo girls of higher genetics. (Wait, what?) He adds that they do it in some way or the other, either for love or marriage and our girls too easily fall prey to such temptations. Because, he explains, that hanging out with people of the opposite sex has become inevitable for girls these days as they too seek people who are highly-qualified. Therefore, it has become necessary for girls to follow the 'delicate art of keeping people at a distance' (whatever that means). They should be friendly, but should also restrain themselves. They must also develop the courage and confidence to face such eventualities (like stalking?) tactfully.
The writer has also shared a list of pointers encouraging girls to 'implement these lessons by KG Sivakumar Inspector of Police'. 'I am happy to know that many have started restricting the usage of Facebook and other social networking sites to a minimum level,' he adds.
- Girls married or unmarried should be selective in accepting friends’ request on Facebook and other social networking sites.
- Avoid posting photos in different attires, if interested, share such photos only in your relatives group.
- Don’t entertain boys whom they found suspicious on the first acquaintance.
- Don’t be vigorous in posting your views in groups which often entertain unwanted chats in any social media.
- Don’t confirm friend requests from anyone who is disguising himself with names of popular figures.
- Don’t trust anyone because he is professionally as qualified as you are.
- Avoid people who have inherent hatred towards working and high earning people.
- It is highly advisable to limit their friend circle with close friends, colleagues, and relatives.
- And the most important thing is, limit the use of social media and don’t get addicted. Don’t open the social media sites at tea breaks and during busy travelling hours.
- Please don’t decide on your life partner without your parents' consent or consensus
- Don’t fall in love suddenly or don’t go out with the person whom you don’t trust or believe.
Alright, Sir. We are listening because we (girls) don't have a mind of our own.
That's not it.
He makes another bold statement (again, literally) to be born as a human being is a rarity, to born as a Brahmin is still more a rarity. It seems by getting into inter-caste marriages, Brahmin brides lose their privileges and glory at once. There is no point in regretting after Brahmin girls commit this 'himalayan blunder'. Wait, there is more: The very purpose of running our marriage bureau exclusively for Brahmins is to ensure that such inter-caste marriages don't take place! It's high time that Brahmin brides should resolve to marry Brahmin grooms only so that there is no scope for any temptation.
This, dear reader, we call a classic mix of sexism and casteism.
Why are we crying blue murder over this article written by someone who is as unimportant as this matrimonial website? Because, no matter how much feminists around the world try to neutralise the tilting balance of rights for women, blinkered and rigid mindset like the one above – still prevailing in our society – is definitely going to make their fight difficult. No, it would tire them out actually, or is it already?
Now, before the 'meninists' pounce on the comments section, please read the 'lessons that girls should learn' once again and think.
First Published On : Jul 6, 2016 13:21 IST