Rejoice, ladies and gentlemen. Because today is the birthday of the environment-loving, always smiling and the future Nobel laureate Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.
That's right. Today, the great spiritual leader, who showed us all how magnanimous he really is by sending a 'peace message' to Islamic State (with disastrous results) and blowing all our minds by showing us why teenager activist Malala Yousafzai did not deserve the Nobel Prize, turns 60.
And just in case you've been living in a cave (on Mars with your hands cupped over your ears and your eyes shut tight) for the past few months, here's a recap:
"Nowadays, there is no value to the Nobel Prize. When you award it to a 16-year-old girl who hasn’t done anything, what value is left? It has become a political prize," Hindustan Times had quoted the great leader as saying when he was asked about Malala getting the Nobel Peace Prize.
"Uss ladki ne kuch bhi nahin kiya (That girl did nothing)," ANI had quoted Sri Sri as saying.
Of course, standing up for education for women and girls in the region of Swat Valley in the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province in Pakistan (a region infamous for being controlled by local Taliban where girls had been banned at times from attending school) amounts to "nothing".
Malala Yousafzai clearly did not do anything to deserve the Nobel Peace Prize. Thanks, Sri Sri.
So, what does a person need to do to win a Nobel Prize? The answer is simple: Pollute, silly!
Even though the great Sri Sri had made it very clear that he had rejected the Nobel Prize offered to him earlier, we really think he will unwillingly accept one which will obviously be offered to him for getting two contempt notices for violating the orders of the National Green Tribunal (NGT), with regard to the World Culture Festival (WCF) he organised on the banks of the Yamuna in March 2016.
Sri Sri might also be just a bit worried that his chance to win a Nobel is running out. But there have been a lot of people (Kailash Satyarthi, Woodrow Wilson, Kofi Annan) who were 60 or above when they got a Nobel Peace Prize.
Moreover, because his 50s were full of amazing achievements like making petty remarks against a teenager or fighting allegations of polluting the environment, we're pretty sure that his 60s will also be full of such greatness.
For example, maybe Sri Sri will now say that Sunny Leone did nothing to earn the honour of sharing her birthday with a man as great as him. "Uss ladki ne kuch bhi nahin kiya" could be a remark used against Sunny now. After all, for a person so great that his 'achievements' are better than standing up for women's education, one should also have certain qualifications to share a birthday with him.
Considering his love for sending 'peace messages', Sri Sri might also send one to Donald Trump, asking him to get rid of his racist and communal thoughts. We're not sure how Trump would respond though. He might just propose banning Sri Sri from entering the United States too.
Or maybe the World Culture Festival will actually live up to its name now and go global. Maybe Sri Sri will decide that facing allegations of polluting the environment next to the Yamuna was not enough and that this needs to happen globally — WCF on the banks of the Danube, next?. After all, as we earlier said, nothing gets you a Nobel Prize faster than pollution.
So don't worry, Sri Sri. There are still enough opportunities for you to win — or maybe to continue to reject — the Nobel Peace Prize.
After all, happy thoughts make for a happy birthday!
Published Date: May 13, 2016 10:41 am | Updated Date: May 13, 2016 10:41 am