Not all your sexual encounters are going to be as hot as the virtual ones that you may have experienced in your Sims avatar. Image by Spoilmewith from Flickr
By Tappy Tippy
It’s a minefield— when you are dating someone of the same sex. And especially if the sex happens to be the fairer one! Most of you would think it would be easier, right? You deal with the same issues— shopping, PMS, body-weight issues, gossip and then the sulks, mood swings, tantrums and the occasional joy. Take it from me—not really! Here are my rules to make your way through the Indian lesbian dating scene…
Rule No 1: You are hot property but act fast
Yes, you are hot property! Bi-curious, Bi-sexual, Women in open Rrelationships, married but mingling with the Same Sex… Many labels abound and few women wear the tag of being lesbian with ease! Also given how many closets most gay women live with, only a miniscule percentage ever really come out. So if you are “coming out” to yourself and being openly proud of your own sexuality, get prepared for the spotlight.
If you are reasonably presentable, own your own wheels/pad and are financially stable, women will woo you and how! Your phone will ring off the hook. You will be quizzed on everything— from past, present to minutiae like favourite colour and fantasy! You will be invited to house parties, sleepovers, community events, movie screenings, late night drives; and discover more BFF’s than Paris Hilton in a few weeks!
Well-meaning lezzie couples will try and fix you with friends, and you will get more than your dose of dating advice and phone numbers.
Names of women who may be interested will be dropped and you will be the topic of much conversation. You will be asked to dance, advised to loosen up and politely told to get onto the whirligig of sex, lust and smoke!
But let me assure you, this spotlight is temporary with no exception! The limelight will stay perhaps only till you give in— and change your status from single/virgin to complicated, in a relationship or a slut on heat! Also, only until the next new attractive, single, independent face walks into the lesbian scene…
Actress Jennifer Beals, creator of "The L Word" Ilene Chaiken and actress Katherine Moennig onstage at the 20th Annual GLAAD Media Awards held at NOKIA . Image by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images
Rule No 2: Facebook/Twitter is your best friend
Sure, social networking sites work for everyone— business, personal, professional or a plain pick up. But in the lesbian dating scene – it is really where a lot of the opening gambits are made. While cheesy names ( I know, Tappy Tippy doesn’t really go that far— but Tooty Fruity, Buzzing Bee, Rain Droplets, SingleMaltonRocks, Crazy Chica – it’s an adjective filled world you are going to contend with), stranger pictures (grainy faces, sketches in black and white, body parts, celebrities— almost everything is fair and square) and cheesy lines.
Multiple personality disorder is also common and you may find friends having more than one Facebook handle to chat with friends their girlfriend doesn’t like. You may also find a lot of curious men posing as women, inviting you to web cams and phone sex, to hopefully wean you back into the heterosexual mating game! So be smart to stay one up.
Despite disadvantages, why Twitter/Facebook works is to suss out strangers you want to get to know better and be friends with, discover their levels of intelligence and emotional quotient with a safety net in place. And trust me, the chemistry that can get sparked and the intelligent banter that can take place in a chat window is phenomenal. Comments, pictures and of course reading up views of common friends comes in handy to know what you might be getting into before you go on a date!
But know that any social networking move will be dissected and bisected by the L-World! You can’t be friends in public/digital or online spaces without someone raising an eye brow or questioning banter on your status! No exploration is private and everyone in the community has a judgment and an opinion about it. So, develop a thick skin and learn to keep explorations, dates, introspection of your romance and love life off your Facebook updates/wallposts!
Rule No 3: No one is single!
A harsh truth, that. Yes, they may be sitting across a coffee table and telling you so with almost puppy dog eyes, but no one is really single in the lesbian scene. There is some undercurrent always going on— friends with benefits, one night stands, exes with physical strings attached. So brush up your math, logic and read up on Sherlock Holmes because his deduction skills are going to come in handy— as you figure out which girl you bumped into at a party is single or really just playing the field.
You need to wisen up if you don’t want to have your heart broken and your ass whipped by her current girlfriend or become the community’s latest chai time gossip. Read the undercurrents— if she’s on BBM constantly; if she’s getting picked up and dropped off by her ‘best friend’, or if she is flirty on chat, but isn’t in person and refuses to acknowledge your presence beyond casual pleasantries… you can safely assume she’s not single! Just single-on-chat.
We also have another fairly statistic backed theory: You could be pursued and scouted to fit in the ‘BLANK-SOME category’— threesome, foursome, manysome, orgy— experimenting in same sex relationships is easy and you could well be a part of someone else’s number’s game without even realizing it!
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