Republished from Mumbaiboss.com
We gathered six single men, ranging in age from 24 to 37, from Parsi to Gujarati, Sindhi to Marwari, and polled them on everything from the Indian male’s dating expectations to how they get picked up. We’ve only edited for brevity and clarity, and left their conversation largely intact. To protect their identities, we’ve withheld their names (the colours correspond to their names) and faces from the photograph, above (one man is missing from the photo, and we’ve referred to him as Purple). Edited excerpts:
Okay, so what’s the worst thing a girl has ever done on a date?
Blue: Not brushed her teeth before…
Red: Refused to go home after I said I didn’t have my driver so we need to get a taxi.
Green: The black and yellow thing is a big one.
Blue: So what happens…everything is happening when you’re standing outside the place, and all of a sudden, you’re like honey, ‘I don’t have a car, let’s get into a black and yellow’. Does she leave you and go?
Red: She tried two other options but they weren’t available to take her home..
The colours correspond to their names and faces from the photograph. One man is missing from the photo, and he's referred to as Purple. Image from Mumbaiboss.com
How do girls in Mumbai try and pick you up?
Blue: By saying something stupid.
Orange: There was one girl…I was having a conversation with a guy, she was standing next to us the whole time, she overheard and interjected a few times while we were trying to talk. Finally she was like ‘Can I get your number?’ I said sure, but give me yours. So she gives me her business card and said ‘Business and pleasure are the same for me.’
Yellow: The stupidest thing and easiest thing is when they say a friend of mine dared me to get your number.
Blue: Or I think I’ve seen you somewhere.
Yellow: Facebook– chicks will add you on FB all the time.
Green: Sometimes you’ll not know who they are.
So do you still add them?
Green: Then you gotta find out.
Blue: You write her back saying how do we know each other. You ask a couple of more questions.
Even if they’re hot?
Green: No way because you know they’re stalkers. It could be a dude.
Red: I’ve had a girl say to me, ‘What do you see in this girl you’re hanging out with?’ I said actually she’s a pretty nice girl, so she was like okay and walked away.
Yellow: I’ve actually been flagged down in a car before.
Green: Kudos.
If a girl sleeps with you on the first date, what are you thinking? Do you think “slut”?
Yellow: Score. I don’t think slut. I don’t think people should think that way.
Blue: I think she’s a cool chick.
Would that stop you from seeing it as something serious?
Yellow: Never.
Blue: That would depend on getting to know the girl a little more. She would just have to say ‘I’ve never been attracted to someone this much before’.
Red: But they all say we’ve never done this before. Balls. Yea sure honey.
Green: For effect.
Red: Indian girls do this a lot. If they hook up, they have to drill it into your head ‘I don’t normally do this, I’m not that kinda girl’, and they just piss you off by doing this.
Green: It just ruins the moment.
Okay, so what about BB pins. You’ve just met a girl at a party, you’re chatting and she says give me your BB pin. What do you say?
Orange: I used to say yes.
Red: I’ll say no. I’ll say I don’t find you hot, or no thank you. Or I’ll take it and delete it.
Green: I never say no to a BB pin. If someone want to find you, they will; they can add you on Facebook. It’s up to you whether you respond to it.
When does a girl have to put out by?
Blue: Within the first month. For sure.
Yellow: Ten dates.
Blue: Five dates.
Red: Three months is okay.
Do you think Indian girls are prudes?
Blue: They pretend to be prudes.
Yellow: Socially, in front of other people, they pretend to be prudes.
Red: I think it takes time, but once you hook up with them, they’re the horniest out there. Once they know you’re not going to talk, and you’ve got them on tap, and assure them you’re not going to talk, and you’ve done that first hook up…
Orange: But it’s true of all repressed cultures.
Blue: You’ve got to prove you can keep your mouth shut.
How young would you guys go?
Blue: If there’s grass on the field, you can play ball.
Green: I’ve always played by the mathematical equation half your age plus seven.
Yellow: But there’s a hotness factor involved.
Blue: It depends on emotional maturity.
Red: How old are you?
Orange: 24.
Red: You’d go for an 18 year old?
Orange: Yes, if she’s old enough to hold a beer, she’s old enough to hold mine.
Indian men tend to have a hang up about dating, shall we say, “big” girls.
Yellow: I don’t think that’s just Indian men.
Would you date a girl bigger than you?
Green: I have no problem unless it’s unhealthy. If it’s unhealthily fat. If they’re really lazy, they don’t want to do anything about it that’s one thing, but if they’re just big boned, what are you going to do?
So if a girl stuffs her face on a date, would that put you off?
Red: It wouldn’t bother me if she was dhaboing and a size 8. I find girls these days love food.
Green: I get irritated the other way. If we go out for a nice meal, and she orders a salad, it pisses me off. Or she’ll have a starter as a main course. But I want a starter, main course and desert.
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