Have a demon child? It's all genetic

By Sharan Saikumar Can a child possibly be born bad? Ask any parent this question and the answer will be an unequivocal, “NO”, followed by a horrified expression that will condemn you for eternity. As parents we may be ready to accept that our child is not a born genius or a gifted sportsman — and sometimes even concede, they are not particularly good-looking — but being ‘good’ is a non-negotiable part of the reproduction contract. Children seem to come equipped with a get-out-of-jail-free pass. When we see a child hitting a puppy or yelling for help, we are trained to follow a deep-seated cultural bias like millions of others — we blame the parents. It seems kinder to put the onus on nurture instead of questioning nature because the child is always the eternal innocent. For years we’ve believed implicitly in the dictum that ‘All Children Are Born Good’. We’ve been trained to see children as tiny bundles of perfection who come to us full of goodness, that we, their guardians, are solely responsible for channeling into the creation of wonderful human beings. And, God forbid if for some reason we end up with kids who don’t share, are playground bullies and inveterate liars — the world sits back and with a sad nod of their head declares – ‘There are no bad children, only bad parents’. [caption id=“attachment_279001” align=“alignleft” width=“380” caption=“Not all children are born with the ‘niceness’ gene – which in essence means that some children could be bad seeds.”]  [/caption] But now, it looks like there certainly are. Researchers from the State University Of New York at Buffalo and the University of California, Irvine found that actual niceness — defined as feelings of social responsibility and charity — corresponded with possessing a gene that produced a certain kind of receptor for oxytocin and vasopressin — two hormones that are linked with sociability and niceness. Not all children are born with the ‘niceness’ gene – which in essence means that some children could be bad seeds. As blasphemous as this sounds it’s not such a far-fetched idea. We’ve all seen perfectly good people produce positively toxic children and the most gracious human beings have been borne to total losers. Twins, the treasure trove of all genetic wisdom, reared in the same environment can often be the polar opposites of the other and yet the despairing wails of ‘What did I do wrong?’ haunt us. As parents we have been trained to take absolute responsibility for the choices our children make and the people they turn out to be. The truth, however is that our role is more limited than we tend to believe. We may teach our children to experience empathy, guilt and shame; to override selfish impulses in the name of higher principles; and to respond with outrage to unfairness and injustice. But from hereon, we must realise it’s their party. Character traits, like all human behavior, have hard-wired and genetic components that cannot be molded entirely by us. But at the end of the day, while we might not be responsible for raising rude, short-tempered, selfish, spoilt brats that nobody wants to play with, we are responsible for loving them intensely and unconditionally. Because that too is a non-negotiable part of the contract.