Feeling guilty about masturbation? Don't fret, just do it

Dear Ms K Would you call it normal if someone is masturbating since the age of 10 or 11 and still, at 21, continue to do so once or twice a week? If it is normal then why do I start regretting it the moment I ejaculate? Yours, Guilt-Ridden Dear Guilt-Ridden, As Michael Jackson once sang, “You are not alone.” A lot of people have experienced guilt after masturbation. Exhibit A: Me. I was 15 when my grandparents passed away. For comfort, I was told that our deceased family members continue to watch over us even after they’re gone. YE THI MERE GUILT KI SHURUWAAT. From the ages 15 to 18, I spent half my day apologizing to my dead grandparents (and all the other dead guardians of my family) for what I’d just indulged in. Those years went like this: consume porn-masturbate-guilt-sorry Nani, promise last time Nani! Don’t even get me started on the numerous journal entries I’d made during that time documenting my problem “X”. [caption id=“attachment_1664449” align=“alignleft” width=“380”]  Image courtesy: AFP.[/caption] In a nutshell: I feel you. The guilt of which you speaketh can arise from various reasons. A popular one being societal norms that are deep-rooted in prejudice and an unhealthy outlook on sex. If this is the reason, then listen to me carefully. Find the nearest vent available and throw your guilt out of it! There is no reason to feel guilty about pleasuring yourself. Our bodies are meant to seek pleasure. And in the absence of a sexual partner or sex toys (read: welcome to my life), this is your only ticket to Valhalla. In case you’re surrounded by sages who claim masturbation can bless you with a mental disorder or two, fret not. There are no scientific studies that have found a causal relationship between masturbation and any mental or physical disorder. On the contrary, it is said to have medical and psychological benefits. Ergo, carpe diem. Thank the stars that your guilty conscience isn’t anything like mine. My poor teenage heart couldn’t bear the burden of this problem ‘X’. It led me to confess the accidental brush-ins with my nether region to my mother. Can you imagine the awkwardness? “Hain, what are you talking about? What is that?” That was my mother’s lame attempt at playing dumb. Then she casually went back to making dal. But as is apparent by now, I have big heart. So I’ve let bygones be bygones. I’d pat my back and consider your problem solved unless you are also experiencing sadness along with the feelings of guilt post orgasm. It could be that you are mistaking the feeling of gloom with guilt. When you experience these feelings, take note of the thought that leads you to these feeling of guilt. Many people are known to experience sadness after an orgasm. While I don’t have an anecdote from my personal life to dole out here, those who do have these gloomy feelings are usually experiencing a drop in their serotonin levels during or just after having an orgasm. Serotonin is the neurotransmitter in our brain associated with feelings of happiness. I would recommend a visit to a doctor if the guilt is accompanied by a sense of gloom since in that case, it could be that the problem may be biochemical in nature. Regardless of what might be the cause, remember that you are not alone. While most people don’t discuss these topics openly, a lot of people experience these feelings. Please send questions for Ms K to dontcallmeaunty@gmail.com.