I don’t agree with Gouri Chatterjee’s rather in depth and impassioned take that Indian women whose husbands are caught in flagrante delicto are forgiving and go out to bat for their straying husbands because it is in their DNA.
The trick for the guy is not getting caught, my dear Watson.
For the woman, the tacit acceptance is a lack of choice most frequently brought upon by unremitting and total financial dependence. The rage and humiliation must be immense (what with the neighbours sniggering) and it must cost a lot in emotional quotient to go out there to a thoughtless and insensitive media and support the old buzzard.
In the case of AAP’s Sandeep Kumar's a bit of a young buzzard but what the heck, let’s just take him on and leave his family out of it. His wife is not a fault, why to make her run the gauntlet and be a sort of ‘accused by association.’ The poor lady is being given a hard time for staying home and doing her duty as a wife and mother.
How do you feel about your husband being caught with another woman?
Hmmm, kind of okay, he’s a stud, care for some tea and biscuits.
Yes, but how do you feel.
Like a duped moron, you moron.
After all, Ritu must have been literally hounded and threatened by the larger family into muttering the cliches she was ordered to and it is not an Indian female trait to forgive errant spouses. Indian women are no different from other women and that means they are no more generous or largehearted or benevolent, they just happen to be stuck with it.
You don’t forgive, you don’t forget, you might soldier on because there are no windows and you cannot afford to close the door.
Behind the scenes, once the chalice is broken you can superglue it but I don’t think the crack ever goes away nor is the relation going to revert to everlovin’ you. Ask Hillary.
The media will disappear to the next scandal and Sandeep will be forgotten and the only victims really are the wife and the kids and the family.
There is something about infidelity which is like cigarette smoke. You get the whiff of it on the clothes but you go into denial because it is more convenient. No husband is such a good actor that his wife doesn’t suspect he is philandering.
Men are such bad liars and they are careless and they would leave a trail of clues that even Peter the Rabbit would be able to follow. Wives would figure out something is up in no time at all.
First Published On : Sep 6, 2016 13:41 IST