So you thought you had a busy Monday? For an example of jaw-dropping dedication to work at the beginning of the week, look no further than Dharmendra Singh, SSP Ghaziabad addressing the media in a half an hour session that should well become the stuff of legend. Waxing eloquent on the resolution of an abduction case, the officer invoked "Adolf Hitler, Chengis Khan, Darr, psycho-dynamics, schizophrenia" and a "mohabbat ka muqadma," even as the ink on the FIR filed was yet to dry.
The five arrested accused, who clearly appear to have been a very loquacious lot, apparently made all these revelations within hours of their arrest in the case. If only all abduction cases in the state of Uttar Pradesh received such attention to detail, the UP police would put Sherlock Holmes to shame.
SSP Dharmendra Singh was describing the ongoing police investigation in the abduction of Snapdeal employee Dipti Sarna, which took place on 10 February. The SSP described the thought process of the accused in words which would put Salim-Javed to shame - "Uska aisa kehna ki mere upar itne mukadme hain, ek mohabbat ka muqadma bhi ho jaye toh kuch nahi hai."
During his address to the media, Dharmendra Singh repeatedly referred to a male colleague of Dipti Sarna as 'Mr A'. Because, of course, it totally made sense to conceal the name of the colleague, days after the name of the victim herself became a top Twitter trend. And, of course, if we're dealing with Bollywood imagery, Bollywood morality cannot be far behind. So, the SSP makes it a point to repeatedly stress that the parents knew about the friendship between Dipti Sarna and Mr A, a crucial detail in the case.
Of course, Shah Rukh Khan from Darr was not his only inspiration. The accused, you see, is a graduate, and has read Adolf Hitler's 'Meen Kamp' and even knew which countries Germany attacked. Of course, Germany invaded Poland and Russia much after Mein Kampf was written, but we shall let that pass. The SSP appears to have been inspired by the famous journalistic dictum: never let facts get in the way of a good story.
For good measure, the SSP even asked journalists to ask questions to the accused, just to clarify any doubts they might have about how Adolf Hitler and Chengis Khan were related to an abduction case. The awestruck journalists, however, seemed to have been stunned into silence. All eyes are now on the chargesheet which promises to indict Adolf Hitler and Changis Khan as co-accused with the five suspects. Meanwhile, SSP Dharmendra Singh, we hear, is expecting an offer to write the script for the sequel to Darr.