Among the many cuts the producers of Udta Punjab — Anurag Kashyap’s Phantom Films and Ekta Kapoor’s Balaji Motion Pictures — have been asked for by the Central Board of Film Certification, is the deletion of all references to Punjab, including from the film’s title.
Should the producers accede to the censors’ demands, in order to get their all-important certification so the film can meet its scheduled 17 June release date, they’re going to have to come up with an alternative title, and in a jiffy.
While Twitterati and film lovers have offered a few options, Firstpost decided to throw a few contenders into the mix. This is what we recommend as the new and improved, sanskaari, censor-proof title for the film until now known as Udta Punjab:
Udta Pradesh — to take the heat away from BJP-SAD and deflect onto Akhilesh’s UP.
Ulta Punjab — because it shows the “complete opposite” of what is actually happening in the state (see also, Doobta Punjab).
Doobta Punjab — a more truthful title, according to some.
Punjab Is The Best — with the original tag line ‘Drugs di maa di’ replaced with ‘East or west’.
Udti Lassi — because if censor chief Pahlaj Nihalani had his way, people would get high only on lassi.
Drugjab — Why? Because ain't nobody got time for censor boards or subtlety.
Udta Rockstar — to differentiate it from the other Rockstar, while still showing Shahid Kapoor’s aka Tommy’s tryst with drugs
AAP ka Punjab — because, don't you know, this is a propaganda film that AAP has apparently paid Anurag Kashyap for, according to Nihalani.