Last night I sat through three hours of the Stardust Colors Sansui Awards. Unlike the Filmfare awards, the editing is far better in this one and the acts take place in front of the audience and not separately. That’s about all that I can hold up by way of distinguishing one from the other, but having watched this spectacle, I do have a few questions.
Parineeti Chopra wore an orange blazer to this event. Why is she borrowing items from Jackie Shroff’s wardrobe? Or is it Karan Johar’s? Regardless, why is she wearing it?
Why had Madhuri Dixit chosen to cling-wrap her outfit around her? No, don’t make jokes about sealing in freshness.
Did Stardust decide only the A-list stars needed a good designer or were there different dress codes given to the smaller stars? After all, Kareena Kapoor and Deepika Padukone were dressed extremely well, but the same couldn’t be said of everyone. (See first question)
Is this award show the coming out party for all Bollywood’s has-beens? I spotted Jackie Shroff and his under-eye sacs, Gulshan Grover and Raveena Tandon.
Amitabh Bachchan only cracked a smile when he was being praised and spent the rest of the show in a contemplative mood. Was he wondering which number tweet he had to post?
Why were Ayesha Shroff and Tiger Shroff applauding Deepika Padukone’s dance number as if she was their long lost family member?
Does Bollywood go to just one doctor for Botox treatments? Is that why all the faces -- particularly those of heroines -- are starting to look the same?
Who is Kainaat Arora and why must we keep seeing close-up shots of her face? (Though admittedly, it’s better than seeing Jaggu dada’s eye sacs close up.)
Sonu Sood, Tiger Shroff and Varun Dhawan won awards. How?
Sonam Kapoor won Achiever Of The Year. For achieving what? Her new accent (which sounds remarkably like Pocahontas’s accent in the Disney cartoon)?
Of course Rajshri Productions got the Hall of Fame award, and deservedly so. However, shouldn’t they have lost points for subjecting unsuspecting audiences to Main Prem Ki Diwani Hoon and Vivaah?
While Sooraj Barjatya was on stage, Sonali Bendre and Tabu were seen smiling wistfully in the audience. Were they remembering their shoot for Hum Saath Saath Hain and could hear the sound of black buck hooves in the backdrop?
Did Vishal Bhardwaj, who directed the critically-acclaimed Haider, throw up a little bit when Farah Khan won the Dream Director award for Happy New Year? I know I did. Even Shah Rukh Khan looked amused when he won the Best Actor award.
And finally, the two most critical questions.
If Happy New Year can win Film Of The Year, will pigs fly soon?
Most importantly, will the next award show I sit through be as deadeningly boring as this one?
Disclaimer: Firstpost is owned by Network 18 media & investments which also owns the Colors television channel