Now that Season 7 of Game of Thrones is finally underway (yes!) and all sorts of wacky theories have made their way onto the interwebs, our faithful minions have gazed into the crystal ball — or glass candles as smug ASIOF book readers would call them — to bring to you our end-of-season predictions.
1. Jon and Dany will
get it on make sweet love
Valar Morghulis, the Faceless men like to say. It's their version of death and taxes. Many Game of Thrones fans have their own saying: Valar Jonerys. That is to say, Jon Snow and Danaerys Targaeryn will meet, fall in love and have little Targ babies.
It's obvious that Jon and Dany have been on a collision course since Season 1. The Bastard of Winterfell and the Mother of Dragons. They're literally mirror images of each other. Man and woman. Outcast and royalty. Stark and Targaeryn. Ice and Fire.
And to all those complaining of a 'Disney-fication' of George RR Martin's work, keep in mind that the original idea our beloved author had was a love triangle between Jon, Tyrion and Arya! Ewww. And compared to the Cersei-Jamie relationship, what's a little loving between aunt and nephew (allegedly).
2. Euron Greyjoy will turn on Cersei
Even those with a passing knowledge of Game of Thrones know that Cersei hates Tryion. And while the books go deeper into why, the TV show has kept it relatively simple: Cersei blames her brother for murdering her father Tywin and her son Joffrey and killing her mother Joanna during his birth.
Following a prophecy by a woods witch, Cersei has been obsessed with Tyrion. The prophecy basically says that after Cersei loses her children, and is replaced by a younger, more beautiful queen, the Valonqar (or little brother in high Valryrian) will choke the life from her. Everyone assumes the little brother is Tyrion. Fair enough. Others have posited that Cersei will meet her end at the hands of her beautiful Jamie.
But there's a third likely candidate: Euron Greyjoy, the little brother of Balon Greyjoy, the former king of the Iron Islands. And TV show Euron is perfectly poised to wreak havoc on Cersei. He's set himself up as her saviour and promised to return with a 'priceless gift'. And after he took Ellaria, her daughter, hostage at the end of episode 2 — what greater gift to Cersei than being delivered the murderers of her precious Myrcella — Cersei is likely to welcome Euron with open arms (much to Jamie's chagrin). It's simple enough for Euron, the deviant that he is, to pull a Tyrion on Shae. After all: For hands of gold are always cold, but a woman's hands are warm.
3. Arya will kill Littlefinger
And speaking of murder, everyone's favourite little killer Arya Stark, is on her way home to Winterfell. Arya expects to find Jon, who she loves more than anything in the world, waiting for her with open arms. But Jon is on his way to Dragonstone and Sansa rules Winterfell. Petyr Baelish, aka Littlefinger, still hanging around Winterfell, will seek to play Sansa like a fiddle after Arya's arrival. Sansa has never had the greatest relationship with her sister. And Sansa wants, more than anything, to be in charge. She's growing ever more paranoid. But enough to turn on Arya?
Meanwhile, Littlefinger has his own scheme for Arya: Sansa's betrayal of her family all the way back in season 1. But things aren't looking good for Lord Baelish. The relationship between the Stark sisters may be far from ideal, but after all, blood is blood. And she's certainly smart enough to figure out that Sansa's letter was equivalent to a hostage video. Moreover, a season 7 promo picture showed Arya clutching the famed Catspaw Dagger — the same one found on the assassin sent to murder Bran — Littlefinger claimed he lost it to Tyrion in a wager. The same one that Littlefinger put to Ned Stark's neck in the throne room. Poetic, really.
4. The Wall will fall
Most literary fans know about Chekov's Gun: And for those who don't, there's Wikipedia: Chekov's gun is a dramatic principle that states that every element in a story must be necessary, and irrelevant elements should be removed; elements should not appear to make "false promises" by never coming into play.
There's been more talk in two episodes about the Wall this year — the Wall has always been there and it always will, nothing can pass the wall — than in the first six years combined. That's what we in the literary world call foreshadowing. And simply put: The Wall has to come down for the White Walkers to move south. The story can't progress otherwise.
To paraphrase Benjen Stark: The Wall isn't just made up of ice. There are also old spells woven into it. Powerful spells that keep the dead out. So how will the Wall fall? Simple. Bran. Who spoils everything. Remember the Night King's mark on Bran? The one that dissolved the magic boundary on the hideout of the Children of the Forest? That will do for the spell on the Wall.
And if you want more evidence, examine this exchange between Jon and Dolorous Edd at the Wall just before Jon at sets off on his journey to king hood:
Jon: Don't knock it down while I'm gone (referring to the Wall)
Edd: I'll do my best
They exchange smiles. It's all fun and games until someone gets ripped apart by a White Walker.
5. Sam will get greyscale
They say no good deed goes unpunished. In Game of Thrones land, that sentiment is amplified ten-fold: Ned's death, Oberyn's death, Jon's death. Surely, even a novice reader would pick up on some sort of pattern here. So when the good-hearted Samwell Tarly rolls up his sleeves, drinks some rum (Jack Sparrow would be proud) and painstakingly cures Jorah, he'll be rewarded for his troubles. With greyscale.
The seeds have already been planted throughout the series. Talk of greyscale and how highly contagious it is has been rife. After all, there's a reason victims of greyscale are shipped off to the ruins of Valyria to live out their lives. And in episode 2, Maester Ebrose (played wonderfully by Harry Potter alumni and British national treasure Jim Broadbent) told Sam that the procedure was too dangerous. The maester who discovered the cure died: Of greyscale.
6. Tyrion will lose his tongue: At Euron's hands
Tyrion is famous for drinking and knowing things. He also has the greatest collection of quips in King's Landing. It is his only weapon against the slings and arrows directed at him.
According to this theory by Reddit user UndeadDinosaur (what is dead may never die), A Song of Ice and Fire lists all the times Tyrion has been threatened with the loss of his tongue. There's that Chekov's gun again (or should we rename it Martin's Wall?) Tyrion needs to have the last word. It's almost pathological.
According to the theory, Tyrion, who is almost universally reviled as a "demon monkey" will clash with a certain ship captain who is fond of removing the tongues of his crew: Euron Greyjoy. And the famously sinister sailor is known for inflicting brutal torture and mind$%#&* on his victims. What worse fate could befall our beloved Hand of the Queen and alienate him even further than losing his tongue?
7. Lady Stoneheart will finally appear
Saving the best for last. The final scene of the season will see a reanimated Catelyn Stark make an appearance as the vengeful Lady Stoneheart. Now, to be fair, fans have been predicting the arrival of Lady Stoneheart for years. And years. And years. In fact, in 2014, Lena Headey posted a picture on Instagram entitled: My Stone Heart.
That's just cruel.
So why do I think Lady Stoneheart is on her way? Everything is in place. The Brotherhood without Banners — with the Hound in tow no less — are making their way beyond the Wall. Jon is on his off to see Danaerys to get Dragonglass. And after that, the Wall. Arya is riding for Winterfell to reunite with Sansa.
Besides, the Game of Thrones Season 7 trailer showed Beric Dondarrion, who in the books gave his own life to bring Catelyn Stark back to life (or some shadow approximation of it), lighting up his fiery sword. As if he were defending someone from the White Walkers?
Or HBO is simply trolling us at this point.
This is the cruelest troll Game of Thrones has ever done pic.twitter.com/WhwOJMsoT2
— Kwame Opam (@kwameopam) June 21, 2017
Published Date: Jul 31, 2017 06:42 am | Updated Date: Jul 31, 2017 06:41 am