by Apoorva Dutt Oct 31, 2013 14:30 IST
The trailer of Dhoom 3, which released today, is a hard one to review. It manages to maintain an air of enigma around one of the most hyped movies of the year by not revealing anything about the storyline at all. The trailer manages this feat by using a clever combination of explosions, Aamir Khan’s raised eyebrows and slow-motion.
But with repeated viewings, we were able to break the Dhoom 3 trailer down to the simplest of forms: statistics.
Here’s what we knew so far: the Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Katrina Kaif and Uday Chopra starrer is slated to release in December.
Here’s what we knew after watching the trailer fourteen times.
Number of times Abhishek Bachchan mispronounces an important word: One
“We make him wob again,” says Abhishek Bachchan menacingly, about a minute into the trailer. Since he’s talking about a robber who likes to rob things, we’re going to assume he meant to say rob but got tongue-tied in the excitement of it all.
Of course, we could be wrong and the use of the word ‘wob’ could be a cleverly-placed hint as to the movie’s actual content.
Maybe he’s actually referring to the acronym definition of wob, which is Waste of Bandwidth. Maybe Aamir Khan likes to spam his friends with chainmail?
Dhoom 3 has already flipped our expectations on their head. This brings us to the next statistic.
Number of times Katrina Kaif spins in the air: Eleven
Katrina Kaif can fly in this movie. Her feet literally never touch the ground during this movie, unless she’s just about to launch herself off the floor in a dainty movement.
If Kaif isn’t doing somersaults around a gym, spinning in midair or generally floating around, she’s putting her leg on Aamir’s shoulder for no apparent reason. Maybe the ground is on fire. This brings us to the next point.
Things that are on fire: Seven
The ‘joker’ sign which is left behind by super robber Aamir Khan is on fire, the floor is on fire, the building is on fire, the gym Katrina is hovering in is on fire, and at one point I’m pretty sure Uday Chopra is on fire.
Why is everything on fire so much if these are the coolest and best cops and robbers you’ve ever seen? Isn’t stuff being on fire kind of counter-productive to whatever task you’re trying to complete? It definitely looks distracting.
Speaking of things that are counter-productive, here’s our next point.
Number of times Aamir Khan falls off the side of a building: Four
I know, I know. It looks cool. But if I was an accomplice to a robber, and he told me that our getaway plan was to walk down the side of the building on a ninety degree incline, I would give up my life of crime and go home. Aamir Khan does this four times, and three times he’s not even walking, he’s just falling. “It’s all part of the great plan!” I imagine Aamir’s character cackles wildly, right before they have to scrape him off the sidewalk.
Maybe this is actually a story about the worst robber ever. Maybe Aamir was feeling suicidal because he agreed to be part of Dhoom 3. Maybe there is a really obvious explanation the movie will provide. Speaking of obvious things:
Number of times somebody says something really obvious in a dramatic voice: Six
The clear winner: “Cops and robbers can only be enemies,” intones Abhishek Bachchan. Well I’m glad that’s cleared up.
Speaking of complete and total idiocy, here’s one more statistic for you:
Percentage of trailer that is in slow-motion: Hundred
Fun fact: If you speed up the trailer to normal speed, it is four and a half seconds long. You know what else is four and a half seconds long? The part of the trailer which is original. To prove this, onwards to our last statistic.
Number of Hollywood movies ripped off in the trailer alone: Six
We owe this nugget of information to a Youtube user, Jaydatt Purohit, who felt it was his moral duty to point out the artistic inspirations for the trailer. Below is his comment in full:
Sh*t not a singl movie yar every thing is copy paste
1 Now you can see Me (first stunt)
2 Bike Stunt @ 1.54 (Torque)
3 Poster (Dark knight)
4 Joker (Dark knight) (using most famous villain's name)
5 Jump from the terrace (Dark knight)
6 Bike Stunt @1.33 (The Bourne Legacy)
Sh*t yar indeed.
Watch the trailer below:
more in Bollywood