Aliens made him say it!
Well, that's just about the only excuse we haven't heard being put forward as a possible explanation for why Salman Khan made his now infamous rape remark.
Salman said he "felt like a raped woman" due to the physically exhausting shoot schedule of his upcoming film Sultan, and while he immediately retracted his ill-chosen words, the analogy got him into a whole lot of hot water.
Bollywood has, for the most part, maintained a studied silence about the row, and whether or not Salman should apologise for his words. While the rare B-town denizen like Kangana Ranaut has spoken her mind openly, others have been content to hem and haw, speak of "but no harm was meant", plead the Fifth or toed a diplomatic line.
Still others, like Priyanka Chopra, have taken the stance that the real issue of rape needs to be talked about, rather than Salman's flippant use of the 'R' word.
But this round of reactions from Bollywood were worth noting.
One was by Varun Dhawan, who when asked for his take on the Salman Khan rape remark row, said that people were "pushing agendas" by drumming up controversy around it. He said that he didn't wish to further any agendas by talking about the issue, and if he had something on his mind, he was close enough to Bhai to express his viewpoint to him in person.
We've seen supporters jump to Salman's rescue, pointing to his charitable endeavours, his bada dil and his penchant for jigri dostis as a reason to not hold him accountable for what he's said.
But Rakhi Sawant's spirited defense of Salman takes the cake — and the icing, the cherry and every conceivable topping you may want on it.
When Rakhi was quizzed at an event about her take on the issue, she promptly replied: "Salman Khan ko target kiya ja raha hai..." and before anyone could concede that his celebrity status may have given the issue a lot more mileage than it otherwise would have, Rakhi added, "(He never said anything wrong) He only made the lip movement, someone dubbed the word 'rape' over it".
There's an idea: Maybe Salman really meant he felt like an 'aped' woman and the evil people present dubbed that over with 'rape'!
Then again, Rakhi did believe that ceiling fans should be banned as they were the leading cause of suicides in India.
Amid all this, Rishi Kapoor's has been the voice of reason.
The veteran actor said that Salman's remark shouldn't be seen as malicious — but that when sentiments are hurt, apologising is a good thing to do.
"I’m sure he didn’t mean it. There are times when you’re narrating something… in our local language… main maantaa hoon galat baat hai… you say sometimes 'I’m raped yaar'… You say you’re spaced out, it doesn’t mean you’ve gone to space. You say you’re screwed, doesn’t mean you’re screwed. You don’t mean it. Analogy boliye ya similie, jo de raha thha, he didn’t mean it. It was improper and at the wrong time also... if he’s done something that has hurt people, then he should say sorry. Why would he not? If sometimes you hurt somebody’s sentiments, you say sorry. There’s nothing wrong with that. Aapne galti ki hai, toh qubool maang li jiye," said Rishi.
So will Salman say sorry? Maybe he could take a cue from Justin Bieber, or two.