All hail Altaf Raja, the bard of our troubled times

by Vaibhav Vishal

These are bad times.

The economy does not look all that great. The drought situation is getting worse. Politicians continue to stay aloof and unaffected. Cricketers are getting fixed. Fixers are running cricket. Business leaders are getting their CFOs pregnant. Jackky Bhagnani is still acting.

These are really bad times.

Now, I know there is this terrible, terrible urge to hang our heads in despair and feel hopelessly bad about our existence. It comes naturally to most of us, especially after seeing those Jackky Bhagnani posters. But you know what? Life is not that black, despite how bleak things appear. One can either feel utterly depressed. Or one can invoke the name of Altaf Raja to make it all disappear. Honestly.

For those not in the know, Altaf Raja was the singular reason why cassette players in the 1990s were mobbed, mauled and molested; day in and day out. Altaf Raja was the demi-god of the autodrivers, their secret man-crush, their muse. Altaf Raja was the snazzy sultan, the ritzy rajah that the entire B-grade population of India wanted to be. But to top it all, Altaf Raja was what kept the people across the country going, giving them hope and optimism, as they sung his songs in the trains, collecting monies for charity (in most cases their own charity).

Altaf Raja. Courtesy: Facebook

Altaf Raja. Courtesy: Facebook

The first half of the 90s was an exciting period in the life of India. The skies were opening up. The reforms were taking off. We were a bemused and overwhelmed nation, getting exposed to an MTV which played music and a Manmohan Singh who had a voice. The divide between the rich and the poor was beginning to get drastically wider. Rishi Kapoor was still wearing Agmark-approved pure wool turtlenecks and Mithun Chakraborty was singing Gutar Gutar in Dalaal.

It was at this point in time that Altaf Raja made an appearance in the Indian stratosphere. “Tum toh thehre pardesi, saath kya nibhaoge”, he said it on behalf of the country in his first album in 1993, mouthing the concern that the economic reforms were not to stay forever. Hence, “Subah pehli gaadi se ghar ko laut jaaoge.

It was a healthy expression of anxiety, not pessimism. Considering that in the same album, Altaf presented the enthusiasm and exuberance of the nation with the song “Panga Le Liya”: “Woh bhi anjaan thi, main bhi anjaan tha. Uss se vaada na tha, kuch iraada na tha. Bas yun hi darling keh diya. Yaaron maine panga le liya.” Pokharan-II, the Indian nuclear tests happened soon thereafter.

And THIS is what makes Altaf Raja relevant all over again in our lives. Yes, the times are tough. From rapes to rappers, from a silent PM to an over-zealous wannabe, from Kalmadi’s fistulas to Kejriwal’s frictions, we have issues and diversions. But we need to embrace our surroundings. And wait. Patiently. Because that is the right thing to do. Thoda intezaar ka mazaa leejiye, sang our man in Shapath. That’s the mantra to live by. Wait and watch, and enjoy the downtime. All material conditions, positive or negative, are temporary. This, too, shall pass. (Btw, for the fans of geriatric gyrations, the song has Jackie Shroff and Mithun Chakraborty shaking it with the ladies at the bar. That, too, did pass.)

His teachings, though, are not restricted to just helping people cope with the larger issues. Altaf Raja has created many sparkling gems that remain relevant to us in our everyday lives. Even more so in this day and age, when everything around us is getting redefined and restructured. I refer to the lucidity with which he discusses the complexities of the gender roles and the social and behavioural norms that are considered appropriate in modern times: “Biwi hai cheez sajawat ki. Biwi se ghar ko sajaate hain. Sautan ka shauq purana hai. Sautan ko sar pe bithate hain. Bharti nahin niyat sautan se. Sautan ki sautan laate hain. Balle balle, oh yaara balle balle.” Brilliantly put, sir. Sajawat. Aesthetics. This is why the purists love you.

The most pertinent message from Altaf Raja to his audiences, however, is in this timeless creation, called “Kar Lo Pyaar”. There are discords and disputes all over. Conflicts have divided the globe. The world is fighting a furious war with itself. Which is precisely the reason why the world needs to hear these immortal lines in his mellifluous voice: “Kar lo pyaar, kar lo pyaar, kar lo pyaar, kar lo pyaar. Pyaar ajab ki cheez hai padh lo aaj subah ka parcha. Pyaar karoge muft mein ho jaayega yaaron charcha.” This is poetry at exceptionally sublime levels. No other song in the world has EVER tried rhyming charcha with parcha.

Wikipedia says Altaf Raja has had a mix of twenty-three film and non-film albums so far. But none of this matters eventually. Because it is not about his songs or the albums. It is about the man. Who goes far beyond the songs or the albums or the hits or the platinum discs. Altaf Raja is a concept. He is the victory of the mundane over the elite, of penury over pomp, of coarse over cultivated, of hopes over realities.

(Vaibhav Vishal is a Mumbai based Creative Consultant. He has worked with brands like MTV and Red FM for over a decade, but he refuses to take the blame. The views expressed in this article are not his own. He is @ofnosurnamefame on Twitter and his blog is http://ofnosurnamefame.wordpress.com.)