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Resume of a freelance cricketer

by Malay Desai  Aug 31, 2012 11:05 IST

#Chris Gayle   #Cricket   #IPL   #Shahid Afridi   #ThingsWeLike   #Twenty20  

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please find attached my resume, which may be considered for the position of all-rounder in your cricket team for the upcoming league.

I possess a wide range of on-field and off-field skills required to deliver winning performances in your esteemed league. I hope you find my versatility worthy and warrant a warm-up match.

Looking forward to this delightful opportunity.

SG.

Shahid Gaylinga

Email: Im.moral@greyarea.com
Permanent Address
6, Deep Gully, Freehit Square, CityofAsia – 422466.
Present Address
Flying suite in-between two tournaments.
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Career objective
To serve maximum clients with utmost inspiration and perspiration
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EDUCATION

IPL University, Mumbai, India
Bachelor of Twenty20, May 2009
Major in Pinch Hitting

Big Bash College, Melbourne, Australia
Diploma in Creative Haggling, June 2011

WORK EXPERIENCE

Indian Premier League, Summers of 2009-2012: Completed three rigourous seasons of working closely with individual and institutional forces of two squads, one of them still active. Participated in multiple marketing campaigns and fire-fighting operations with CEOs and WAGs.

Getty Images

Sri Lankan Premier League, Summer 2012: Made spectacular debut in newest tournament on the circuit by scoring 14* in 4 deliveries to seal pre-quarterfinal game. Job profile similar to that of IPL, though with less accounting and fan interaction.

English Twenty20 tournaments, 2006-2007: Learnt crucial skills of new format of cricket in various local and county tournaments, such as communication with multi-racial drawing room, telecast-friendly performances and pacing game according to oncoming shower.

KEY SKILLS

• Pinch-hitting and death bowling
• Spectacular slides and dives (on non-Asian grounds)
• Defence of non-performing seniors at post-match press conferences
• In-match interviews while fielding/batting/bowling (Asian/Brit accent)
• Impressive acting skills for ad promotions/campaigns
• Controversy-less negotiations with cricket boards
• Disciplined appearances at matches, board meetings and parties.

MAJOR ACHIEVEMENTS

• Winner of the Kingfisher Jetlagged Cricketer of the Year 2011 (awaiting cash reward)
• Record of no involvement in run-outs despite not knowing several partners’ names
• Averted major controversy in IPL 2010 by intervening between nose-punching owner and hot-headed captain
• Senior members of major cricket boards on quick dial list
• Clean, no-brawl history at parties

COMPUTER KNOW-HOW

• Twitter: positive, pro-team, pro-sponsor interaction
• Facebook, Instagram: Active fan interaction through all seasons

HOBBIES AND INTERESTS

• Travelling, photography, collecting ‘Do Not Disturb’ signs from hotel suites across world.
* References

Mr Ravi Shastri,
Full-time Tracer Bullet,
BCCI

Mr Rajiv Shukla,
President,
Whispering Pavilions

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